Today I took my daughter to see the new “Snow White” live-action reimagining film from Disney. There were some good things and then there were the bad things.
I do want to mention that the theater only had five people in it and my daughter and I were two of the five. When we left and other “Snow White” showings were happening, the parking lot was practically empty, so those theaters were likely not filled either.
From here on out there may be spoilers. If you read them it’s on you.
The Good
Rachel Zegler can sing well. She isn’t terrible at acting either, but her singing was good. My daughter wishes they had someone no so belty so it was more like the original movie, but not a deal breaker.
Some of the new songs weren’t terrible. “Good Things Grow,” “Waiting on a Wish,” and “A Hand Meets A Hand” weren’t bad. Some of the lyrics with the last one were iffy, but not deal breakers. My daughter liked the Evil Queen’s song “All Is Fair.” I wasn’t as big of a fan.
The Evil Queen has amazing outfits! Her accessories and costumes were incredible and I can only imagine how heavy those dresses were to wear.
The Bad
The CGI dwarfs are creepy. From Dopey looking like Billy from “The Polar Express” to Sleepy looking like MODOK from “Ant-Man and the Wasp Quantumania.” They did not work in the CGI style. I was all too uncanny valley.
There is no prince. Jonathan is Robin Hood and is in charge of the bandits. Yet he saves Snow White from an arrow.
Doc treats the prince who passed out from the “terrible” injury. Yet somehow they could have a party right afterward.
The “Princess Problem” song was stupid.
While Gal Gadot had amazing costumes as the Evil Queen, Rachel Zegler’s iconic dress was garrish with that day-glow yellow skirt.
Snow White’s hair is also terrible.
Snow White and Jonathan are given a back story so they make sure the kiss isn’t “weird, weird” or “stalkery.”
She is named Snow White from a snow storm, and out of now where, in the summer, a snowflake appears and she decides to fight the Evil Queen.
How she beats the Evil Queen is by remembering the soldiers names and how they were before they worked for the Queen.
They make a point of saying no one really remembered Snow White because they hadn’t seen her in so long, but when she shows up in the village they all remember her and immediately line up behind her to challenge the queen without her even asking. They sing and low-key march/dance to the gate.
The Dopey
Besides the fact that Dopey is one of the creepiest looking among the dwarfs, they take away some of what makes him Dopey.
Snow White asks him if he doesn’t speak because he’s afraid and she teaches him to whistle. Okay.
Dopey is still Dopey like in the beginning, tripping, looking at fairies, etc. But that changes after he suddenly starts speaking. Yes. They make Dopey talk and then he’s suddenly less clumsy too.
The critics were right about this one. It’s mid.
Right now it’s at 46% on Rotten Tomatoes. Metacritic has it at 48.
While I would go a bit higher at a 5- 5.5 out of 10 (my daughter said 6/10) it isn’t a fantastic film. I would watch it again, but I would also say to wait for Disney+ and save your money for “Lilo and Stitch,” “How To Train Your Dragon” live action, or even “Minecraft.”
You might like it better than me and I hope you do. For now, I’m sticking to the original that really shouldn’t have been rebooted.
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